Normally, legal documents are the literary equivalent of Valium, yes? However, if you’ve never read a brief by the Honorable Samuel B. Kent of Galveston, Texas, you really should.
In this particular case, the defendant has filed a motion to move the venue to Houston, claiming that the fifty-mile drive to Galveston Island is too inconvenient. I quote (from the footnotes):
The Defendant will again be pleased to know that regular limousine service is available from Hobby Airport, even to the steps of this humble courthouse, which has got lights, plummin’, ‘lectric doors, and all sorts of new stuff, almost like them big courthouses back East.
The footnotes aren’t even the best part. From another brief, this one arguing that a case filed by Bolivia should be heard in Washington rather than Galveston:
… this humble Court by the sea is certainly flattered by what must be the worldwide renown of rural Texas courts for dispensing justice with unparalleled fairness and alacrity, apparently in common discussion even on the mountain peaks of Bolivia!